Really? I'm Scandinavian and Irish.

My students tend to ask things completely out of context and completely out of left field. Clearly this day was no different. The following question, which was the catalyst for the following discussion, came in the middle of a lesson on using context clues. Let it also be noted that the student did not raise her hand. We enter...

Mr. A: "So how else can we be active readers and use context clues while reading?"

A: "Mr. A, is you really white?"

Mr. A: "OK, that's a check for talking without permission, but since you've already said it, what do you mean?"

A: "I mean, you always talking like you black. I think you black."

Mr. A: "Really? I'm Scandinavian and Irish you guys."

R: "I don't know what that mean, but you don't really look black."

Mr. A: "I would say that's a good observation."

R: "Yeah, you mostly be looking really white, except for when you get mad...then you is red."

D: "You're red a lot Mr. A."

Mr. A: "Once again...outstanding observation."

Fun With Prefixes

I am introducing my students to some various prefixes. One of which is the prefix -pro. As an example, I use being proactive. The students immediately make a connection to this, which is wonderful. We enter...

R: "Proactive? You mean like that cream for people with nasty skin?"

Mr. A: "Well, actually that's a good correlation, because the Proactiv cream can be used early as a preventative measure for further outbreaks, so it works for the prefix."

R: "T be needing that for her greasy skin."

T: "Boy, I know you ain't calling me greasy with yo' banana boat looking self!"

Mr. A: "Ah, nonsensical name calling...that takes me back."

Second Chances

I have used the same management system for the past two years I have taught at this school. My students this year have had over 10 weeks to grow accustomed to this system. In essence, the system allows for a minimum of eight infractions of the expectations, or should we say eight chances, before a parent is called...pretty sufficient if you ask me. That being said, certain students seem to think they are being given the worst consequence the first time they break an expectation. R is one of these students. He has already broken expectations twelve times today when the thirteenth ensues in the hall. We enter...

Mr. A: "R, could you please get off the wall?"

R proceeds to punch the wall three times and kick it once.

Mr. A: "OK R, that is not being respectful, I'm going to have to mark you down on the behavior tracker."

R begins to sing a nice little tune...surprisingly somewhat catchy

R: "I hate Mr. A, I hate Mr. A, I hate Mr. A."

Mr. A: "Straight up, so you can go ahead and shred to the office now...you've sufficiently reached your limit."

R is now in a hysterical fit of tears...If he's looking to pluck heart strings with his emotion it's not working.

R: "No, no, please Mr. A...just give me one more chance...I promise I'll never do it again."

Mr. A: "Well, considering you were given a total of fourteen chances, not so sure the fifteenth is the charm, but it's nice to see remorse will ultimately set in for you."

Flashes of the Past

My students from last year have now found solace in coming into my room before school starts. This morning J, A, and R all decided to make their way to my school abode and interesting coversations ensued. We enter...

J: "Mr. A., you still finna use that card system to get people in trouble?"

Mr. A: "Well J, it was never a system that existed solely to get you in trouble. Rather, I was attempting to maximize your learning opportunities by tempering behavior issues."

A: "What you be talking about Mr. A?"

R: "Yeah my brotha from anotha motha, besides, I was always good."

Mr. A: "Fascinating R, evidently you have chosen to black out the time you chased down fellow classmates with scissors. Which was triggered due to the fact that we had nine vocabulary words that week instead of eight."

R: "What? I loved vocabulary. Give me some dap Mr. A."

Mr. A: "OK, but just a little dap."

J: "Ahhh, he still scanlous y'all."

Mr. A: "I told you before...scanlous 'til the end."

Career Options

M is not too happy right about now. He has been put through the torture of having his red card pulled, which essentially means I will be calling his mom. This frustrates M. I am trying to explain to him the importance of focusing on school and making better behavior choices. We enter...

Mr. A: "M, you need to start making some better behavior choices and focus on your education.

M: "I don't need to do that...I'm my own teacher."

Mr. A: "But I'm here to help you, and remember, the stronger reader you are, the better student you are. These can open up doors in life to more job opportunities."

M: "I don't care, I don't need a job when I grow up, I'm gonna be a hustla!"

Mr. A: "Hmmm, fascinating career choice, but perhaps we could focus on something a little more legal?"

The Physics of Urination

Students are provided ample opporntunity to use the restroom...ample opportunity. That being said, D continuously says she needs to use the restroom due to an emergency. On this particular occasion she decided to explain to me why. We enter...

D: "Mr. A I have to use it!"

Mr. A: "Right, much like you had to use it fifteen minutes ago when I let you go, and much like the 30 minutes prior to that when I let you go as well."

D: "Mr. A, I have to tell you something."

Mr. A: "OK, go ahead."

D: "Sometimes when I drink things up here (D points to her mouth) it has to come out down here (D points to her "southern region.")"

Mr. A: "Well, you see D, that's sort of the case for everyone. When we drink liquids, or eat food, the digestive system...you know what, just take the pass and go."

Year Two...Already?

OK kids, I'm back. This was hands down the shortest summer of my life. However, I did get to go back to the promise land that is Minnesota, so it was extremely therapeutic. That being said, I'm back teaching again. I know, I know. This year will be slightly different folks. This year Mr. A is teaching 3rd and 4th grade. However, I am still exposed to students of all ages, so there will be gems that cross grade levels.

I do apologize for not getting this started sooner, but things have been slightly intense. To be perfectly honest, I haven't even been writing down my gems during the day like I did last year. However, I couldn't fire this thing up and not give you something, so here we go...year two is officially under way for Teachable Quotes:

I am in the middle of breaking down the expectations for the students. I want to make sure that they understand that Mr. A does not put up with any nonsense. Every choice has a consequence. Most of the students are understanding this, but D is a little wary. We enter...

Mr. A: "OK third graders, we need to make sure that we are following these expectations, otherwise our not so good choices may give us some not so good consequences."

D: "What? I don't care, you can't do anything to me."

Mr. A: "I can call your mom."

D: "Oh snap...that is good."