Saturday, November 28, 2009

Nice Break

Thanksgiving has provided me with a nice un-dusty break from this blog. To be continued in two days...

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

At Least They're Concerned About Me

It is 7:30 am and the students are in the cafeteria for breakfast. Two seventh graders begin to fight and I step in to break it up...standard practice. As I'm trying to break it up one of the boys knocks my coffee cup out of my hand and it spills out on the floor...we enter:

G: "You made me spill Mr. A's coffee motha f*****! Now it's on!

G gets one hit in before I can get him away.

G: "I'm sorry Mr. A but I'm sick of that kid always running his mouth, and then he made me knock your coffee on the floor so I had to crack him."

Mr. A: "The great thing about coffee G is that I can always brew more, you've got to find a better way to deal with your anger."

G: "I'm sorry Mr. A, you're right, do you want me to get you more coffee?"

Mr. A: "Thanks, but you've got to go to in school suspension now."

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

The Original Pilgrim

The students are planning a skit they will put on for a Thanksgiving Feast we are having for the families. The current debate, and there are many, is centered around who will play Native Americans and who will play Pilgrims...we enter:

T: "This is boosey, I ain't finna to play no stupid pilgrim. You should play the pilgrim R, you dusty."

R: "Girl, I know you ain't telling me to play no pilgrim, with yo fat wrecking ball looking self. Mr. A, maybe you should be the pilgrim. I mean, not to be racist or anything, but you are the original color.

Mr. A: "It's OK R, the Pilgrims were white, and so am I, it's not racist to say the color of our skin. Unfortunately this is for students only, so it appears we're back to square one...awesome."

Friday, November 13, 2009

Thanks For The Affirmation Guys

The students are making character profiles on the computer for a game

R: "What you dusty game, I don't wanna be some dusty white guy...oh my bad, sorry Mr. A."
J: "Yeah, shut yo big headed self up R. You're not like most dusty white people Mr. A, you're cool."
Mr. A: "Thanks J, I'm glad I'm not dusty."

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Creative Name Calling

R: "Who you think you talking to you dusty grizzly bear?"
S: "Boy I don't have to listen to you and yo big headed self. Sittin' over there looking like a dusty mushroom."
R: "Girl I know you ain't calling me a mushroom...with yo car battery looking self."
Mr. A: "That's enough...do you guys honestly even hear yourselves when you talk?"

Monday, November 9, 2009

Short Memories

Mr. A: "R, you need to sit down and fill out that reflection sheet. I want you to think about what your bad behavior choices were."
R: "But Mr. A, I don't even remember what I did."
Mr. A: "Well, for starters you were trying to kick a hole in my wall and continued to say 'Deuces, you stupid wall!'"
R: "Why did I do that?"
Mr. A: "Because we had 8 vocabulary words this week instead of 7."

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Parent/Teahcer Conference

L's Mother has just sat down for her son's conference

Mom: "Oooh boy, you look awfully young to be a teacher, these kids must be eating you alive. What are you 23?

Mr. A: "I'm 25, but I hold my own. It doesn't matter what they say, they're still 11-years-old."

The conference is coming to a close

Mom: "Thank you so much for what you're doing for my son...where have you been the last five years for his schooling?

Mr. A: "Getting eaten alive in college."

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Fun With Science

Mr. A: "Matter is anything that has mass and occupies space. All matter is made up of many molecules."
D: "I bet your head has like a million molecules Mr. A, cause you got a big ol' head."
J: "What you talking about boy? Mr. A has a nice head. Yo dusty self is the one with all the dusty ass molecules...I ain't playin...with yo big headed self."

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Feeling Minnesota

L: "Mr. A where did you go to college?"
B: "Boy. why you always asking that? He never shuts up about the Vikings, and he gives us tickets when we talk about Minnesota...it was in Minnesota right Mr. A?"
Mr. A: "I went to the University of Minnesota."
L: "Is that in Minnesota? If I say I'm finna to go to school there can I have some Skittles."