Field Trip Fun

Thirty of the students were rewarded for "good behavior" by being taken on a field trip to a hands on science center. I was rewarded for being awesome by being allowed to chaperone said field trip. The day was going relatively smooth until J and G engaged in a massive argument over a pair of glasses. They attempted to fight, through my restraint, while the other patrons of the science center gawked in fear as they waited for World War III to ensue. We enter...

G: "You triflin' little girl! You know those glasses ain't yours. You look like a damn fool wearing them anyway."

J: "Oh yeah B****, well this fool about to whoop on you."

G: "Say it to my face you dusty ass little trick. I'll pull the weave right out yo' hair."

Mr. A: "That's enough. This is ridiculous. You are arguing over a pair of glasses and you are trying to fight in public. There are people watching and you are embarrassing yourselves and the school."

G: "Don't nobody care about that Mr. A. If this little girl wanna roast then she bouts to get molly whomped right here...I don't give no damn about no science place."

J: "But you can't whoop this, but you can't whoop this!!"

Finally reinforcements arrive to help me separate the two and get them out. L approaches me looking disappointed.

L: "Triflin' little girls. We can't go anywhere can we Mr. A? Why we always gotta be fighting?"

Mr. A: "L, I guess it's fitting we're at a science center because you have a light bulb over the top of your head right now."

L: "Huh? What you talking about Mr. A? You being scanlous again?"

Mr. A: "Ha ha ha...forget it L, let's check out another exhibit."

Skin Confusion

During free time at the end of the day on Friday, I showed the students a rhythm I know how to do using a cup. It's a fairly standard drum beat with some flash sprinkled in...they loved it, and the following conversation ensued. We enter...

R: "Dang Mr. A, that was tight boy!"

B: "Yea, how you do that beat with that mug? You straight got rhythm!"

R: "You must be mixed huh Mr. A?"

Mr. A: "Why do you say that R?"

R: "Cause ain't no white person got rhythm like that, so I thought you was mixed."

B: "Are you high boy? How you gonna say something that boosey? Look at Mr. A...if that ain't white..."

Mr. A: "Yeah, hate to break it to you R...but I am white."

Re-writing History

The students engage in a computer program each day called "Read About." This program essentially helps the students with their comprehension skills. Today, B was reading about George Washington. We enter...

B: "Mr. A, I don't know who this person is."

Mr. A: "OK, well let's take a look at it together. It looks like you are reading about the very first President of our country. Can you say his name for me?"

B: "George..."

L: "I know who that mug is Mr. A! That boy is George Clooney! Ha, I straight roasted you B, you don't even know who the first President was."

Mr. A: "Actually L, George Clooney is an actor in Hollywood. He wouldn't have been alive over 200 years ago when our first President took office."

L: "What you talking about? He white ain't he?"

Mr. A: "Yes, George Clooney is white."

L: "And he rich ain't he?"

Mr. A: "Yes, being a Hollywood actor I would imagine he has a lot of money."

L: "So what's the difference?"

New Lessons

It is my honor to monitor breakfast for the whole school each morning. I am consistently blown away by how much energy, anger and fervor exist at this time in the morning. Additionally, I am blown away by the lack of housekeeping as the students constantly neglect to throw away their plates of food. This morning was no different, as I grabbed a plate of half eaten waffles to throw away. We enter...

C: "Mr. A! What the hell you think you doing?"

Mr. A: "Well C, the half eaten plate of waffles with syrup spilling onto the table was a real nice touch to the room, but I thought maybe I'd throw it in the trash."

C: "Throw it in the dusty ass trash! Mr. A, don't you know you don't touch a black person's food?"

Mr. A: "Yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and plead ignorance on this one...enjoy the waffles C."

C: "Damn straight...all up in here trying to throw this mug in the trash."

Mr. A: "Let it go C, we're talking about a half of a frozen waffle."

Gracious Hosts

One of my professors from Grad School was kind enough to come in and co-teach a lesson with me. Although I bribed my kids in an effort to achieve good behavior, we had some minor setbacks. We enter...

Professor: " It's great to be here guys! I'm very excited to read this story with you all today."

L: "What you got a cold?"

Professor: "Yes I do, I can't seem to get rid of it."

L: "Your nose is all red."

Professor: "I'm sure it is."

L: "Sittin' there lookin' like a dusty ol' Rudolph."

Viking Let Down

It is well documented in my classroom that Mr. A is a huge fan of the Minnesota Vikings. Following a massively disappointing loss in the NFC Championship game, Mr. A's students found it entertaining to make fun of him. We enter...

Mr. A: "So does anybody have any questions about what's expected of them?"

J: "Yeah, I have a question Mr. A."

Mr. A: "Go ahead J."

J: "The dusty, big headed Vikings lost...ha ha ha ha."

Mr. A: "Thanks J, I noticed...and not a question."

L: "I have a question Mr. A. The Vikings got they butts played by the Saints. Man, I was watching that mug like, damn boy!"

B: "Hey, Mr. A...too bad the Vikings lost and you still have to a buy us a pizza party!"

Mr. A: "No I don't. The deal was we would have a pizza party if the Vikings made it to the Super Bowl...they lost."

J: "What, we don't get no pizza party? Man you scanlous Mr. A."

L: "Yea, that's straight triflin."

Mr. A: "Hey guys I have a question...ha ha, you don't get a pizza party!"

Technicalities

On their way into class from gym, T proceeds to tell me that J shoved her into the wall. I summon J to ask her about the incident. We enter...

Mr. A: "OK J, tell me what happened in the hallway."

J: "Mr. A, I didn't do nuthin, whatever that dusty girl said is a lie."

Mr. A: "Well, you don't know what she said, so how do you know it's a lie."

J: "Cause she dusty."

Mr. A: "Well, that doesn't really work in this situation, but I did hear that you pushed her into the wall."

J: "What? Oh hell no, how she gonna lie on me like that, I didn't push her."

Mr. A: "You didn't put your hands on her?"

J: "I mean I pushed her, but it wasn't technically a push. I just pushed her with my hands."

Mr. A: "Hm, OK, well a push is with your hands...so, technically you did push her."

J: "Whatever, you triflin' Mr. A."