They've Got Me Pegged

E: "Are you married Mr. A?"
Mr. A: "Well E, that doesn't really have anything to do with line graphs, but no I'm not. See, no ring.
L: "Man, that don't mean nuthin Mr. A. You just take your ring off cause you finna to get your swerve on this weekend and it's easier to do without a ring."
Mr. A: "L, I can honestly say that I'm not 'finna to get my swerve on this weekend.'"

(We enter Mr. A's classroom as L and B are ready to fight.)
B: "Shut yo dusty ass up son, fo I stab you in your mouth!"
L: "You ain't gonna do nuthin, I'll crack your skull open...Mr. A, will you take me to Walgreens after school so I can get my mama a birthday card?"
Mr. A: "Get out."

A New Take On "Shiloh"

Mr. A: "So what can we infer about what Marty's Ma is saying to Shiloh's owner, Judd.
T: "I can infer that Marty's Ma should have stabbed Judd right in his big, dusty eye...I ain't playin."
Mr. A: "Interesting point T, what strategies did you use to make that inference."
T: "Huh? I'm just saying that guy is triflin and was finna to get stabbed."

Desperation

L: "Are you calling my Dad right now to tell him I'm having a good day?"
Mr. A: "Well L, considering you just ripped your progress report in half, threw my overhead markers, and then threatened every student in the class, I was kind of leaning a different direction."

Soul Food

L: "D, you don't like corn bread, meat loaf, or chicken?"
D: "Nah son."
L:"Boy you don't like any black people food. Mr. A's got more soul than you."

Horrible Liars

Mr. A: "J, are you eating sunflower seeds? You know I don't allow food in here."
J: "How you gonna tell me I'm eating sunflower seeds, I don't even know what a sunflower seed looks like Mr. A. Why you always comin' at me?"
Mr. A: "Well, my first clue was the pile of seeds around you...then I saw the bag of sunflower seeds sticking out of your pocket. So I put two and two together."
J: "They're not mine..."
Mr. A: "Just throw them away...you guys aren't as good at this as you think you are."

Geographical Geniuses Part 3

S: "How you gonna tell me South America is south of us, man that's scandalous Mr. A."
Mr. A: "Yep S, Magellan and NASA do have a tendency to be scandalous."

Mythology

Mr. A: "Who here has ever heard of the Loch Ness Monster?"
J: "What's that, some kind of monster? Is it lunch yet?"
Mr. A: "No, it's not. In fact you ate lunch three hours ago."
J: "Then what are we still doing here? Deuces." (starts to walk out of room.)

Stances on Football

Mr. A: "Tell you what guys, if the Chiefs win this Sunday I'll give you ten extra minutes of recess."
J: "Boy, they better win, I ain't playin. If they lose I'm gonna punch Larry Johnson right in his dusty throat."

Perceptive Students

J: "So Mr. A since it's Friday tomorrow, are you gonna be happier and nicer like you usually are?"
Mr. A: "Is it that obvious?"
J: "Yeah."

Halloween

L: "Where y'all gonna go trick or treatin'?"
B: "I don't know, my neighborhood probably."
L: "No way, I'm finna to go to some rich, white neighborhood...where do you live Mr. A?"

Bathroom Breaks

(In the Boys Bathroom)
Mr. A: "D, you need to hurry up in there, you've already wasted two minutes of my time."
D: "Yeah, but Mr. A. I gotta use it. This ain't even like a number two...it's like a number 15."

Geographical Geniuses Part 2

B: "You know what my favorite state is Mr. A?"
Mr. A. "What's that B?"
B: "Idaho, you know why?"
Mr. A. "No, that's fine B...I think I got it."

Geographical Geniuses

L: "Mr. A, are the Rocky Mountains named after The Rock?"
Mr. A: "Yes L, yes they are."

Welcome To My Life

At the request of several different people, I have been asked to start this blog. I currently teach a 5th grade class at an inner city alternative Charter School. That's right, alternative Charter School. My days are full of threats, and unfortunate low academic output. It is my goal to give these kids everything I can to give them some of the opportunities I was lucky to have growing up. They lead extremely rough and tumultuous lives. They have seen and experienced more by age 11 than anyone should in a life time.

They are also full of hilarious quotes and one-liners. That's where this blog comes in. When time permits I will share some of these zingers with all of you. I will not be revealing the names or location of my school for privacy's sake, so all names will simply be letters. No need to worry though, you'll still be able to identify with them the same way I do. Hope you enjoy, and I'll start you off with this one.

R: "Yes, it's Friday. Deuces Mr. A, I'm finnin' to get my swerve on this weekend!"
Mr. A: "It's 10:30 am R...sit down."